ventito | Chris - Until Dawn

[It felt like Ashley had been trapped in that interview room for forever. And god, she dashed out the minute they said she was free to go; stuck in that one dimly lit room, with only one light shining in her good eye (her bruised one had swollen shut by now) just reminded her of being trapped in the shed, in the basement, caught in Josh's fucked up Saw traps... it was getting hard to breathe, so hard, so she needed to get out as fast as possible.

But that meant she had another problem: she was alone. Some of the others have finished their interviews, judging by the open doors and empty rooms, and some, as far as she can tell, are still being interviewed. She doesn't know who left, and doesn't know where they are, so for now, she's just... stuck. Waiting to find an officer to tell her what to do.

She doesn't like being alone. Not now, not after everything that happened. Being alone makes the icy claws of fear wrap around the back of her neck, makes her chest clench and her breath come out in short pants. So she begins pacing, back and forth, from one closed door to the next. She can hear the voices of the officers, but not whoever they're talking to.

But then the voices inside one room stop, and after a few moments, she can hear the scraping of a chair being pushed back. She can't tell who it is in there, but she hopes....]

... Chris?

[Chris has started to forget what it's like to live in the real world. After ten hours of hell on the mountain, followed by fuck-knows how many hours spent reliving all that hell for a bunch of cops who clearly thought they were all out of their gourds...the life he had before he stepped foot onto that cable car seems unreal. Like it was some crazy dream where everything was okay and absolutely nothing was fucked up.

He's spent so long being terrified that his brain doesn't know how to go back to normal mode. How is he supposed to go home now? Go back to that world where everyone lives their regular lives, happily unaware that monsters are real and that people can snap and destroy the people they're supposed to care about most.

Josh.

The betrayal bites and claws at his stomach, it churns around in there and doesn't let up. He could never have believed his best friend was capable of what he did. Never in a thousand years. A billion years. Not Josh.

And now he was gone, lost somewhere on that mountain, probably being chewed on by one of those things. God. He hopes it's not Hannah. That would make a fucked up situation even worse. But that's the kicker, isn't it? Nothing can ever not be fucked up anymore.

They've given him an old, crappy crutch and painkillers, so at least he can get himself out of the room without looking like he's dragging himself around like some puppy that's been run over by a car. He got off lightly, as far as he's concerned.

When he sees Ashley, he wants to smile, he really does, but it doesn't quite make it to his lips. Instead, his shoulders sag, and he gives a small wave with his free hand. Her eye looks worse, he notes. Out of all the things Josh had done that night, this is the one thing that makes him more angry than anything. Fucker. ]

Hey, Ash.

[He doesn't realise how fucking tired he is until he speaks to her. When he can actually speak to someone who isn't a cop making him repeat himself over and over. He doubts he could sleep, though, tired as he is. ]

Did they give you anything for that eye?

[Ashley doesn't blame him for not smiling. She thought she'd want to, when they all got out of the lodge and it blew them off their feet and those damn wendigo to bits. She thought it'd be like the movies, where they'd all stare in shock and then break out into cheers and laughter and joy.

But it wasn't like that. There wasn't a single ounce of joy to be had seeing the lodge go up in flames. There was just that knotted feeling in her gut, like she'd swallowed a bunch of rocks, and the desire to just bury her face in the snow and dirt and never get up again.

She's just glad he'd understand. They all would. It was hard keeping it all together enough to talk to the cops, but around each other... around each other, they didn't need to pretend.]

Just some painkillers. Said I could get some better stuff once they brought us all to the hospital.

[She's still tense, on the razor's edge of just managing to keep it together and falling apart again. Her shoulders are hunched up, and she's picking unconsciously at her glove - the one still splattered in almost-dry blood.]

Do you... do you need help? With your leg?

Yeah? That's good.

[Nothing was 'good' about this fucking situation. Not a single damn thing. He'd give anything to go back in time, somehow stop this whole mess from happening. He should have talked to Josh more. Spent more time with him. Seen the fissures of his psyche turn into gaping holes. He's supposed to be Josh's best friend, and he let him down.

Boom. Butterfly effect.]

I'm- [He's about to say 'okay', but he really, really isn't.] They say I've probably torn something, or whatever. The doctors'll know better. For now, I've got this fancy crutch, so I can hobble like a pro. I'll be in the Hobbling Olympics next year; watch this space.

[He waggles the crutch a little. It's a poor attempt at humour, it doesn't carry the same ridiculousness he usually brings to his jokes. It feels horribly, coldly hollow. He's doing it more on autopilot than anything else. Because telling jokes is Something Chris Does.

Maybe a distraction is needed? Yeah. Distractions are good. Maybe they can pretend they're just teenagers who haven't come out of a living hell. Just two teenagers. In a police station. Covered in dry blood. Yeeeep.]

Hey. You hungry? My wallet is uh- [in the cabin] but I think I can wrangle up a dollar from the change in my pockets for the vending machine.

[A part of her is definitely hungry, because honestly, she hasn't had anything to eat since before the cable car trip up to the lodge. A part of her is disgusted at the idea of eating, because.... well. How can you just eat and do normal things after the previous night?

But the smart little voice in her head that hasn't been completely smothered also points out that if she doesn't eat something now, they're probably going to make her eat something once they get to the hospital. And god, if they serve any kind of meat, she's almost certain she'd lose it.

So. Vending trash it is.]

Stale vending machine crackers and poptarts? Sounds like Thanksgiving dinner to me right now.

[She makes an attempt to laugh as well, but it comes out as more of a huff. She was never as good at joking through stressful times as Chris was, so it falls especially flat today.]

I've still got some change too. No reason to add one more thing to fret about here.

[Chris is definitely deciding on a veggie diet for the rest of his life. Meat shall never again pass his lips. Nope.

He manages a little smile for her sake, before moving carefully in the direction of the vending machines. Man, he's glad they gave him painkillers, they haven't done a whole lot, but they've at least taken the edge off. Makes it all a little...duller.]

Then you shall have a vending-y banquet fit for a queen!

[He lets out a sigh.]

I hear that. My worry meter has been maxed out. And it's just gonna get worse once my parents find out what happened. For the first time in my life, I'm glad I don't have my cell phone.

[When he starts walking, Ashley shuffles around him, so that she's walking next to him on his bad side. She's been absolutely shit all night, unable to do much of anything really, so if the only thing she can do now is make sure he doesn't fall and hurt himself worse... well. There's no way she's going to fail that.]

... What are we even going to tell them? The cops obviously don't believe us, so who knows what they're gunna tell everyone...

[God... what are they going to say to Josh's parents...?]

[He'd appreciate that. The cops have already chided him for using a leg he definitely should not have been using in the state it was in. They didn't seem particularly moved when he explained he had to use the leg to run away from the fucking monsters trying to eat him. His brow furrows. ]

Probably that we had some wild party and we all got baked out of our skulls. Unless they go into the mines themselves, what proof have we got? Naddah. To them, we're just a bunch of teenagers who set fire to our friends parents log cabin - and got him lost in the woods.

[He feels his heart wrench again. He's known the Washingtons for a long time. He was there when Josh was trying to explain to them why he hadn't been watching his sisters. How the guilt had clawed into him and never let go. He watched that family try everything to find the twins, only to slowly lose hope. And now they have to go through all of it again.

His shoulders sag, and he lets out a shuddery breath. He's been working hard to keep it together, but now the threat is gone, now they're out of that mess, it's harder to keep a lid on things. He can't rely on adrenaline to keep himself going any more.]

This is all such fucking bullshit. [He can hear the waver in his voice, but he doesn't care any more.]

[There's just... something so wrong about the way Chris slumps like that. Despite what he may think, he's been so strong throughout the night, and she's pretty sure he's a major reason of why she's even still sane right now.

She leans over, just a little, so she can lean her head against his arm. It's okay Chris, you don't need to be the strong one anymore.]

I'm sorry...

[When she rests her head on his arm, he just stops. He closes his eyes, and takes in a deep, shuddery breath. He's not going to lose it in the corridor of some backwater police station. He's not. ]

I- I should've noticed. I'm supposed to be his best friend. I should've seen he was getting worse, that he wasn't taking his meds. If I had, maybe I could've stopped any of this happening. Made him get help. I don't know. Something.

[Instead of not seeing it. Of letting his best friend down. The best friend he thought he'd killed with a flip of a switch just a few hours before. Yeah. Friend of the year award goes to him, for sure. ]

But nooooooope. I didn't. And now he's stuck down those mines being- being fucking eaten by those things. He didn't deserve that. He was just sick, it wasn't-

[He takes another deep breath. In. Out. It's hard to connect His Best Friend Josh with the Josh that tortured them with his twisted little games. Those two people don't fit together. That scared, angry kid was not the same one he'd spent the better part of his life hanging out with.]

He wasn't really being him.

[Ashley... really shouldn't be surprised that Chris is blaming himself for this, but still, her heart twists at his words, and she steps in front of him, for once glad that she's so much shorter than him, because it'll be a lot easier to look him in the eye even if he tries to look down and avoid it.]

Chris, no. Nononono...

[She reaches up, and for a moment, it almost looks like she's going to put her hands on his cheeks. But she pauses at the last minute, before setting them on his shoulders.

It's still... weird. This whatever-it-is between them. And now's not the time to address it, so it's back to dancing around each other.]

You can't... you can't blame yourself for this. Don't say you didn't do enough; you did! I know you did. You spent so much time with him, and his parents... you did everything a best friend should.

[She doesn't bring up the first trap. She refuses to. That... it's not fair to count that against Chris. Either choice he made would've been horrible in some way]

You can't put Josh's mental health all on you.

[He starts as she moves. True, it's what he's wanted for a very, very long time. Them. Together. If there's one single good thing to come out of this mess, it's that it finally made him tell her how he felt. Funny what thinking you're about to die does. He can't unsay those things, and he doesn't want to. Right now, it's on his List of Things to Process. Just...not quite yet.

So he relaxes his shoulders a little as she rests he hands on them. He closes his eyes, takes another deep breath, uses her presence as an attempt to ground himself.]

But I didn't do enough.

[And that hurts. That after everything, he couldn't get everyone he loved out of that mess. That his life is going to have this chunk ripped out of it, and it wasn't fair. He'd give anything to have Josh standing behind him, calling him Cochise again and telling him to just get the hell on with it with Ash. Anything.]

I'm really gonna miss him.

[That was quiet, almost murmured. He allows himself that moment of sorrow, of self-indulgence, before finally looking at her properly. ]

Sorry. Shit. You've been through hell, too. How're you feeling?

[Because it's far easier to focus on someone else's problems than his own right now. Looking after someone else, he can do. Himself? Not as much. ]

You did all that you could. And you put a big effort into it! That... it's not a bad thing, Chris. And... it sort of goes both ways, y'know? He wasn't telling you everything. He wasn't letting you help as much as you could. He was hiding things...

[She's not really sure what she feels most bitter about. Josh punching her out twice and rigging her up in those fucked-up traps that would make his horror movie director dad proud, or just. Him hurting Chris. Obviously shunning Chris. If he was doing it to get back at her, she would've understood that, in some twisted way. But Chris had absolutely nothing to do with any part of the prank. He didn't deserve any bit of what Josh did to him.

And yet...]

... I'm gunna miss him too.

[Miss the Josh she thought she knew, at least.]

And... I don't really know, to be honest. So much went on and I kept having to push all these different feelings around. But now that we have time to stop and think about it all... I don't really know what to feel.

... I do know I'm worried about you, though.

I know....I know.

[And it hurts, that Josh hid that from him. That he hid away instead of letting Josh help him. That, combined with all the bullshit traps he;d gone though, Chris is starting to wonder if he'd done something to turn Josh against him. A small part of him hopes that's the case. So he can put some logic in the utter betrayal he's faced.

...And he did, ultimately, choose Ashley. He'd hated it. It made him sick. But the choice has still been made. ]

I'm -

[Really, seriously Not Okay. He knows something deep inside him has horribly and irrevocably broken. He can feel it, this prevailing feeling of wrongness in the pit of his stomach.

He moves to ruffle a hand on the beanie on her head. It's a little too mechanical to be the funny gesture he's trying to make it seem. Hah hah, funny old Chris.]

I'm still pretty hungry. Yep. The hunt for the mystical vending machine doth continues.

[It may not work in its attempt to be a funny gesture, but... the hand on her head is rather comforting. It's a gentle, solid weight against her, and she almost shakes as she leans into the touch.

After a full night of being punched, slapped, and shoved and chased around, it's just... good. To have something nice like this.]

... You don't have to pretend, you know. I know "I know what you're going through" is usually super shitty and empty words of comfort, but... we were all there. You don't have to hide it from any of us.

[it's been a long night and a long early morning. He lost the tired feeling and really, couldn't even sleep if he tried. Too easy to close his eyes and feel the darkness of the mine around him. Hear the shrieking of that thing stalking him and Jess. If a person can be tired and wired at the same time, that's about how Matt feels.

He's sitting dead-eyed waiting. Mostly for Jess, but just to see... He hasn't seen anybody else in so long. It makes his stomach twist going back over the last time he saw all his friends. The last time he saw Hannah and Beth, even. It's easy to assume the worst when you've seen the worst with your own eyes.

When he notices someone else coming out of the interview rooms, he glances up to see who it is. Yikes, Chris... The last time they talked was brutal. What does he say?]

Hey. [good start, Matt]

[He gives her a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. Pretending is exactly what's getting him through this right now. A short time of denial before it all comes crashing over him and there's no going back. ]

I'm not- [Yeah, he is.] I just... need to processing time, I guess? If I think about it took much, it feels like my head's gonna explode. And no one wants that. My head's too pretty to explode.

[Chris hobbles through on a borrowed crutch, really not looking forward to the inevitable trip to the hospital to find out exactly how badly screwed up his leg is. The last thing he wants is to be put somewhere on a hospital bed and be poked and prodded, or worse, knocked out. Nope. No thanks.

As great a start as that was, Chris doesn't seem to care. He doesn't even have a sarcastic comeback for it, he's just glad to see Matt's here and not dead. He smiles, even if it's tired and not exactly right. ]

Matt, Jesus man, where were you? Emily said she saw you in the mines last. I thought -

[The mines full of wendigoes. He looks Matt up and down, expression concerned, looking for injury. ]

Are you okay? You get hurt? [None of them are okay. None of them will ever be okay again, but he asks anyway.]

[he's equally glad to see Chris, even if he does look like he's been through just about as much of a hell as Matt and Jess. Matt even manages to give a tired smile right back. It's really the only kind of smile any of them can manage at this point.

Honestly, Matt hasn't thought about his own appearance much. The prized letter jacket has blood and burns and dirt from the mine. He nods at Chris's question, taking a breath. He's been over this with the police but it feels different with Chris. Chris looks like he saw the same shit]

Yeah. Yeah, the mines... I fell from the radio tower. Em and I-- we were calling for help. And then-- this fucking thing. It grabbed me and-- if I didn't have a flare gun on me, I think I would've died.

I found Jess and we both somehow got out of there alive. [it takes him a moment to realize part of what Chris said]

You saw Emily? She's okay?

Jess is alive? But Mike said...

[Oh hell, that makes their treatment of Josh even worse. Jesus. He runs a hand through his hair, exhaling, trying to find a calm place. ]

She's ok. She's been though some...really nasty shit, but she's okay.

[He leaves out the whole bite and Mike going to shoot her thing. No one could pay him enough to be the messenger for that piece of information. ]

Wendigos. That's what those things were. Actual fucking monsters. There was this old guy living on the mountain who's been fighting them for years.

[He tries not to think about the last time he saw the old man. The guy's head rolling about in the snow. That's something to add to his nightmare collection for the rest of his life. ]

If he hadn't shown up, we'd of all been screwed.

Way too pretty.

[... Judging by how flat her voice is when she says that, she isn't really joking. And she only realizes after the fact that she said that out loud and OH BOY okay just. Just pretend you didn't say that, Ash....]

I don't know if my head is going to explode or implode. Either way, just thinking hurts.

... I guess this means midterms and finals are gunna be a breeze now, huh?

[... It feels weird to talk about school. To talk about normal teenager things. Geez, how would they be able to go back to all that now...?]

She-- Jess was pretty messed up, man. She fell down into the mine, just like me. Hell, I saw Emily fall. I thought she might have-- fuck. [he rubs at his eyes. So much to process he feels like he's still just trying to breathe. But Emily's alive, so that's one weight off his shoulders]

Wendigos. Great. [he's not sure if he feels better having a name to put to the thing. And Chris said "them", like there was more than one. Matt lets out a slow breath. He and Jess got away from one, which in itself was a miracle for how beaten up they were. If the others had to deal with more...]

Remind me to send that guy a thank-you card. [Matt no]

[That would explain why Mike was so adamant she was dead. He's so glad she isn't, that she's got out of this. Jess isn't one of his favourite people in the world, but she didn't deserve any of this. None of them did. ]

She's fine, man, I promise. [As fine as any of them could be. Emily always came off as an indomitable force in her own right. If anyone could swing themselves back from this, he'd put his money on Emily doing it first. ] Nothing takes her down.

[Matt, seriously, no. He visibly flinches. ]

He's dead. I saw it happen. Those things just [he makes a vague gesture with his arm] it was a fucking mess.

[He definitely heard that. Normally, that would make him an awkward, stammering wreck, but his brain has had far too much to process to allow embarrassment into the frame. He clears his throat, somewhat awkwardly, painfully aware at some point they need to take the pin out of what they've started on the mountain...whatever that thing is, and talk about it, but right now, his brain is too fried. Baby steps. ]

I don't know, I think I could still slide in a couple gym nightmares in amongst all the other ones. There's still some space in amongst all the abject terror.

[Maybe a wendigo chasing him up a rope. Oh, yeah, great brain, now he'll definitely have that one. Great. ]

Geez, you must have had some really bad gym experiences...

[Are they... are they joking? Really? It feels so weird. Like things might actually be some shade of normal.]

But I'd take embarrassing locker room scenarios and bad games of dodgeball any day now, if it means I didn't have to think about... all of this

Chris - Until Dawn

gimme dat golden ending

one golden ending on the house!

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gold ending

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excellent choice

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