ventito | Fenris - Dragon Age

[If that's the problem, it's one that will be easy enough to solve. She has no problems with simply giving herself to him, helping him take the love and affection he undoubtedly deserves.

She smiles and kisses his jaw, brings their joined hand to her waist and flattens his hand against it, helps him curl his fingers around her and take hold of her.]

You're a good kisser, too. I don't believe there's anything you can't do.

[He huffs out a chuckle, hand curling around her, feeling her warmth. ]

I...admit I have wanted to do that for a while.

[That's a thing she really wouldn't have been able to guess, if she's honest. While it's sad to think he's become so good at hiding his desires, Jove tries to focus on the fact that he isn't now. He's said it out loud, let himself admit it to the both of them, and that is certainly something to be proud of.]

Well, you're always welcome to do it in the future.

[She's still hovering over him a little though, so she dips down to sit on his knee, enough space still between them that it isn't too terrible erotic. Still familiar, still close enough it's intimate, but hopefully not pushing too much too fast. It's all about whatever speed he'd prefer.]

[He starts, just for a second, before relaxing again, his muscles untensing. The closeness is strange, but certainly not unwelcome. He ducks his head, smile turning shy. ]

I was not aware you felt the same. [He really wasn't. He's no good with people, at all. ]

[She won't point out that that was intended, that she kept her feelings to herself to avoid pressuring him or making him feel he had to reciprocate just because he was fond of her.]

And now that you know, what will you do with the information?

[And that, he would be glad for. The lack of pressure, the opportunity to come to the conclusion on his own. He knows it takes him longer, to understand such things, and her patience is most welcomed. He makes a soft hum of amusement, hands moving around her back, pulling her gently closer. ]

I could think of a few things.

[She slides easily forward, leaning her forehead against Fenris' for a moment before kissing his cheek again, perfectly content to have stopped exactly where they are but certainly willing to go as far as Fenris might want. She's cared for him so much for so long but kept it in check, and now that she doesn't have to it's nearly overwhelming.]

You should show me, in that case.

[Fenris isn't used to taking things slow, mostly because he's never allowed himself to have such things. Love is something so far beyond his reach, his understanding, he's never assumed he could get it for himself. Not truly. Danarius used the word as a way to keep him chained, but he knows that wasn't love. The memory lingers, though. To let himself love, would be to open that door again. It's far easier to pretend, to try to keep feelings separate.

It was lonely, but it was safe.]

Heh. I think I could manage that.

[He'll lean in to press light kisses on her jawline.]

[Jove shivers agreeably as he trails kisses along her skin, letting him set his own pace for as long as he'd like. There's no sense of urgency to it, just an easy kind of warmth spreading through her that seems to be concentrated where his hands hold her, where his lips brush.

In her own life, everything had been a rush since the conclave exploded, there was no time for something as simple as slowing down and letting herself focus on what it would be like to make room in her life for romance. Flirting had been easy, but there was always a lingering worry of what would happen at the end. Was the magic in her hand tied to something that would kill her, once Corypheus was dead? How long would it take the Inquisition to fall apart once the threat had passed?

And now she's in Fenris' lap, arms lightly draped across his shoulders while one hand brushes absently through the hair at the back of his neck while he lays kisses across her jaw. Something about that strikes her as funny, so she echoes his little laugh and catches his lips just once before she lets him keep going.]

This is a good start. I told you you were a natural.

[Such is the life of anyone dragged into the cyclone of events in Thedas. To be part of the eye of the storm. It was a risk, how long did any of them have, truly?

His lips quirk, at the sound of her laugh. Bringing pleasure to others, in times such as these, this is something he can do. It's something to fall back on. He gives a soft hum of amusement, thrumming across his lips, against her jaw. ]

Some things are a little easier than others.

I'm glad this counts, then.

[Desperately she wants these things to become easier for him, but not just for her own benefit. For his, primarily. If she had the chance, there is no doubt in her mind she'd put every resource the Inquisition had into finding the people who caused this, assuming they were still alive. She would find them and put them to the sword herself and make it known there was no place in her world for such horror.

Those are thoughts for the future, though. Right now, she only wants to focus on exactly where she is.]

And the rest can come in time. I won't say you didn't make me curious when you said things, though. I like the idea of there being more than one.

[They were, of course, all gone. Not that it helped Fenris any. H never was truly free, they haunted him, even in death. He pauses, unsure, this is where there's usually some sex, a meaningless tumble in the hay, and they part ways. This is...different, and he's not sure how to process it. ]

There can be. More than one...I mean.

[Well, he'll just be awkward and useless, this is beyond him. ]

[Maybe he's awkward, but if the smile she gives him is any indication it isn't something that she's holding against him. Instead she just kisses him again, slow and sweet and trying to do something to ground him a little.]

You just have to tell me what you want, Fenris. Or show me, if that's easier.

[The kiss does ground him, somewhat. It would be so easy to plunge on, stick to what he could handle. The familiar wasn't what he really wanted, but it was what used to. He exhales, resting his forehead against hers, trying to find the words. ]

I- I am not good at understanding what I want. You would imagine after ten years it would come easy to me, but it doesn't.

[Danarius' conditioning ran as deep as the lyrium he'd been branded with. Try as he may to get some semblance of normalcy, he kept coming up against these mental pockets of resistance. Freedom was as much a burden as it was a boon. He sits back, a little, frowning softly. ]

Autonomy is not a simple thing, when you have lived without it most of your life. I have learned, with most things, how to cope. [He pauses, and runs one hand along her arm in what he hopes is a comforting gesture. ] These things are...much more difficult.

I wouldn't presume anything about how you handle what you've been through, Fenris.

[She says this as she puts her hand against his cheek, thumb stroking there softly, but she's also leaning back a little bit more to give him the space he needs. Poor Fenris is something she thinks for a moment, but that does him a disservice, doesn't it? He isn't broken, he's still trying to find his way. There's nothing poor Fenris about that.]

I'll help you where I can, but it's something you'll have to think on yourself to find what you truly want. I care for you, Fenris, but as more than just a quick tumble. Those aren't really in my nature.

[He really isn't sure how to deal with this. This consideration. He leans his face into her hand a little closing his eyes and exhaling. Trying to sort through the mess of his own mind.]

I care for you, also. [Something he would have once thought laughable. A mage AND a Dalish? Neither are things he's overly fond of. But Jove...Jove is like no one he's ever met. She blindsided him. ]

I have...never had anything of substance before, but I would like to try. If you would.

Of course I would. At your pace, though. There doesn't have to be any rush.

[She'll follow his lead in all things, when it comes to intimacy. He'll have to initiate, but she'll happily give him whatever it is he happens to want.]

I know that this is... well, there probably aren't appropriate words for how difficult this is for you, even just considering it. It isn't lost on me how much it must take you to trust in me, and I... [Mythal help her, she's starting to blush.] Thank you, for having that faith in me. It means a great deal.

That is...good of you.

[People being decent BECAUSE they should be decent is something he still struggles with. He's so used to there being a motive behind it all.

The blush does bring a small smile to his face.]

Inquisitor, are you blushing?

[Being called on it only makes it worse, but there's no point in denying it. She gives him a light shake, lips twisted into an admittedly embarrassed smirk.]

If you make fun of me for it I won't kiss you again.

[That gets a low chuckle. ]

Well, I certainly wouldn't want that to happen.

[It was an empty threat, and she makes that abundantly clear when she leans in for one last gentle, easy kiss.]

Shall we get back to your lessons now?

[She's giving him the easiest of outs, making it her suggestion they take the focus off of he struggles with intimacy. He's choice, always.]

[He's glad for it, for the time being. To give him breathing room, time to understand his own feelings on this matter. ]

I would like that, thank you.

[She has him write his name two more times, but they call it a night shortly after. As she leaves she kisses his cheek, and after that things progress as she expects.

She only initiates the briefest of kisses, letting Fenris be the one to choose to make them longer or deeper, keeping her hands on his shoulders and above. Affection is never a reward for something she's asked his help with, never incentive to practice reading or writing, only ever freely given when he seeks it.

She's falling for him hard, but patience is never a burden. It's more a gift, to help him through his past and the hangups he's still working past. She tells him often she's impressed by the strength of his spirit, by how fast he learns. That she cares for him, she tells him that almost every day.

There are times when she visits his room and the door closes behind her and their eyes meet and the charge between them is undeniable, and while she lets him know she feels the same she never acts on it. She'd meant it when she said he would have to be the one to decide what he wanted, to decide to reach for it.

Now they're sharing a meal of fresh fruits and vegetables she's manages to get a hold of from the nearby planet they've been brought to this month, sitting close together, and she remembers what he'd said before, about strawberries. She'd only been able to get a handful of them, and she picks up the ripest of the bunch before he can get his hands on it, lifts it up to hold it to his lips.]

You said you liked these, right?

[It's surprised him, how much he's begun to feel for her. With Jove's patience, he's learned what love is. Real love, not the lie Danarius made him believe in. It's something so much more, so much deeper. He finds himself more often than not, these days, not wanting to return to Kirkwall. Certainly, they will be in the same world, but if they remember none of this, they might as well be a universe apart.

He remembers, from his time in Exsilium, how fragile these situations can be. How everything can be fine one day, and then the next, someone is gone. No warning. No chance to say goodbye. It's a dreadful way to leave things unsaid, and he knows he would hate himself if he didn't give word to the feelings he knows are there now. To name them, to show her how much she's come to mean to him.

He takes the offered fruit, enjoying the explosion of juice on his tongue. He swallos it and smiles, kissing her fingertips.]

They are delicious.

[It's honestly been a little awe-inspiring, seeing the way Fenris had changed in the time she'd been with him. She smiles more, seems genuinely happy, and it's an honor to think she had a part in it. She does her best not to get too caught up in, just like she tries not to think too hard about the sensation of his lips on her fingers. The temptation is there, but buried under far too many layers of real affection.

It would be foolish to deny she loves him, but she won't say it first. Not when there's even the slightest chance he'll feel pressured to say it back before he's ready to. The idea of losing him at all is painful, but if she focuses on the moment, it's all that truly matters.]

It surprised me, you know. That you'd be so fond of sweets.

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